Question:
COMMUNICATING
SHOW HOW PROUD YOU ARE
Display your child's artwork, schoolwork or school triumphs on the refrigerator or on the hallway wall. Make a treasure chest together to store the special projects all children do in school. Show that you value your children and what they do. Occasionally go over their work and show them their progress, better penmanship or bigger math equations.
POSITIVE INTERVENTION
Praise, praise, praise. Sure you can correct their inappropriate behavior, sometimes over and over, becoming the "nag" they tune out. Many parents (and experts) have found that if you actively reinforce their good behavior they attract the desired behavior from their children without the negative connotation. Kids seek approval more than anything else at any age. Hug them, compliment them on their efforts. A few kind words and actions go a very long way.
POSITIVE FEEDBACK
Telling kids what they should do, as opposed to what they shouldn't be doing, brings a positive reflection on their behavior very quickly. For instance, use words like this to teach your children.... "use your walking feet." instead of "Don't run." "Use your indoor voices." Instead of "Stop screaming" and "Keep your feet on the floor." instead of "Don't climb on the couch." "Sit on the chair." instead of "Don't stand on the chair." "Run your truck on the floor." instead of "Don't run your truck on the table." The best rules tell children what they should do , rather then what they shouldn't do.
COMPLIMENTING YOUR CHILD
There are hundreds of ways to tell your child they
have done a good thing. Here are just a few:
You're on the right track now!
You are very good at that.
You're doing a good job.
I knew you could do it.
Now you have it.
Great!
You make it look easy.
You're getting better every day.
Sensational
Terrific!
Much better!
Outstanding!
Keep it up!
Good thinking!
Keep on trying.
I like that.
I'm very proud of you
You're right.
Clever!
That's GReat!
Way to go.
Congratulations, you got it now.
That's right!
What an improvement.
You learn fast.
Good for you!
Excellent!
That's the best ever.
I appreciate your hard work.
Splendid!
Good going!
Marvelous!
Yu're doing the best you can.
That gives me a happy feeling.
I sure am happy you're my daughter/son/student/friend!
PROBLEM SOLVING
Ask "What if?" questions to help your child come up with positive solutions to sharing problems that commonly arise. For example, ask: "What if you wanted to play on a swing but your friend wouldn't get off?' "What if there's one cookie left and both you and your sister want it?" "What if you're starting a game and you and your friend want to be first?" These questions would depend on the age of your child, but is a good way to get them thinking about the necessary problem solving skills they need to grow up.
MODEL BEHAVIOR
One way kids learn how to behave is by watching others model behavior traits, both good and bad. When your children are exposed to some of this behavior, either on television, in public or at home it makes it even harder to raise a decent and responsible young person. I believe most children strive to do their best and need to see good behavior patterns to model themselves after. How can we as parents teach our children to respect others, maintain self-control, to persevere through hard times and be fair, tolerant and empathetic? We can no longer sit back and hope our kids grow to become caring, decent, human beings. We must deliberately and passionately teach and model the traits of strong character in our kids so they really can become the best they can be and in doing so, we will nurture the qualities that enhance their moral growth.
TALKING WITH YOUR KIDS ABOUT TOUGH ISSUES
Here are 10 tips on talking to your kids on tough issues.
1. Start early. Respect your children's ideas and concerns from an early age.
2. Initiate conversations with your child. Be sure to open a variety of subjects.
3. Listen to your child. Really, try not to be judgmental, they are learning.
4. Address any fears. Being open and honest about what you can do to help.
5. Create an open environment. Turn off the TV at dinnertime, and avoid distractions.
6. Communicate your own values.
7. Try to be honest. Relay your ideas and tell them why you feel that way.
8. Be patient. Your child may have to think things over and discuss the subject again at a later time.
9. Use everyday opportunities to talk. Be open to those long drawn out stories about what happened on the schoolyard today. Your child will learn you are interested in their life.
10. Talk about it again. And, again. And again if necessary.
DON'T BE AFRAID TO SAY
When your child asks you a question, answer them right away. This builds their self-esteem and tells them you think their questions are important. Don't be afraid to say, "I don't know." Look up the answer together. Not only will they know they can turn to you when they need to they will learn that education goes on throughout life.
HELP YOUR CHILD LEAD
Your children develop problem-solving skills when they are allowed to do things on their own. Allow them to set up the game on game night. Encourage them to try new things.
COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR CHILD
The more interactive conversation and play a child is involved in, the more a child learns.
Reading books, singing, playing word games, and simply talking to your child will increase his vocabulary while providing increased listening opportunities.
Here are a few suggestions to help improve your child's communication skills:
1. Talk to your child about what he did during the day or plans to do tomorrow. "I think it's going to rain this afternoon. What shall we do?" Or discuss the day's events at bedtime.
2. Play make-believe games.
3. Read your child's favorite books over and over and encourage him to join in with words he knows. Encourage "pretend" reading (let your child pretend he's reading a book to you).
4. As your child gets older continue to discuss the days plans and events. Do not over react when you hear about aspects of your child's day that may have been handled somewhat questionably. Discuss what your child did to handle the event and what the results were. How could they have handled it differently to expect other results?
An open communication policy is the most important gift you can give your child and yourself!
ENCOURAGE LIFE-SKILLS
Your children need to develop their "life-skills" over time. Start early with these tips. Good family work habits can influence school performance. Children can see that setting goals and sticking to plans can be satisfying. Set a daily routine for schoolwork, meals and bedtime. Let your child know you and others appreciate it when they are on time. Work first play later.
TALKING TO THE KIDS
Be sure to listen, this means always, in the car, while making a meal, while cleaning up the house… You never know when your child will want to share an important thought, idea or story with you. Sometimes the best conversations with your kids come when you least expect it. I am constantly amazed at what you can learn from a child when they "chat" with you. Without the pressure of coming up with a precise answer to "What did you do in school today?" most children are happy to express more than just what they "did". They may tell you how they felt!
COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR CHILD
Ask, "What's wrong?" let your children know their feelings are important. Work problems out together. Giving them a number of ideas on how to work out a problem in their lives to choose from, will help them think through to the results of their choices. In addition, when the result may be somewhat less than desired, allow them to make the wrong choice and live through the consequences occasionally (depending on the severity of the problem). For example, if their favorite jeans are not in the hamper on laundry day, don't go looking for them… They may have to wait until the next laundry day to wear them.
POLITENESS
Being polite, though it is tough, can go a long way to improving your reputation with parents, and other adults. For example, your parents won't see fit to give you a later bedtime if you eat like a slob and argue with everything they say! Remember to address your parents and other adults respectfully, and to use a "sir" or "madam" where one is required.
TEACHING POLITE AND KIND CONVERSATION
Here is a good way to teach your children to talk politely and kindly. Tell the kids if they want to say something it must meet these three rules.
1. Is it True
2. Is It Kind
3. Is It Necessary
Of course these 3 rules are a little difficult for young children to learn right away. However with perseverance and consistency you will prevail and teach them a very valuable skill! Truthful comments are not always "necessary" to voice.
USING WORDS TO EXPRESS YOUR CHILD'S FEELINGS
Many kids display anger because they simply don't know how to express their frustrations any other way. Kicking, screaming, swearing, hitting or throwing things may be the only way they know how to show their feelings. Asking this kid to "tell me how you feel" is unrealistic, because he may not have learned the words to tell you how he is feeling! To help him express his anger, create a feeling word poster together saying:
"Let's think of all the words we could use that tell others we're really angry" then list his ideas.
Here's a few:
Angry, mad, frustrated, furious, irritated, ticked off, irate, and incensed.
Write them on a chart, hang it up, and practice using them often.
When your child is angry, use the words so he can apply them to real life:
"Looks like you're really angry. Want to talk about it?" or "You seem really irritated. Do you need to walk it off?" Then keep adding new emotion words to the list whenever new ones come up in those great "teachable moments" opportunities throughout the day.
Kid Frequently Asked Questions
How can I make an easy costume?
